I Wouldn’t Shit You You’re My Favorite Turd Tee, Funny Cowboy Western Graphic Tee, Crude Humor Gift for Best Friends

A funny western slogan tee built around a classic crude joke

This funny western graphic tee is a white cotton t-shirt that prints the phrase I Wouldn’t Shit You You’re My Favorite Turd right above a vintage drawing of two cowboys on fence posts, where one character wears a bright red hat. This top appeals directly to best friends, partners, and anyone who enjoys straightforward, crude humor without taking themselves too seriously.

Design details and everyday wear

This garment features a vintage western illustration printed on a comfortable white cotton tee that holds up to daily wear and frequent laundering. The bold black and red graphic creates an immediate conversation starter, making it a reliable pick for backyard barbecues, casual hangouts, weekend road trips, and game nights with friends who appreciate a good funny quote shirt.

• Sharp black and red screen-printed ink featuring the classic western fence scene and slogan.
• Breathable, soft cotton fabric suited for warm weather or layering under jackets.
• Classic crew neck and standard short sleeves for a relaxed fit.

Tee specs at a glance

• Premium white cotton t-shirt blank chosen for softness and durability.
• Graphic printed in high-contrast black and red ink.
• Standard pullover cut with shoulder-to-shoulder taping.
• Full size chart available on this page to help select the right fit.

What sizes are available for this tee?

The full size range is listed in the size chart on this page, covering standard adult sizing. Ordering your usual size provides a reliable, standard fit, while sizing up offers a looser, more relaxed drape.

Is the print durable after washing?

The graphic stays crisp when you machine wash the shirt cold inside out and tumble dry on low heat. Avoid ironing directly over the black and red screen print to protect the details of the design.

Who is this funny cowboy tee a good gift for?

This shirt makes a humorous present for best friends, boyfriends, husbands, and coworkers who share a similar sense of humor. It fits well as a birthday surprise, a Christmas gag present, or a white elephant gift exchange.

Is this tee officially licensed from Archer or Full Metal Jacket?

This is an original design built on a classic crude humor phrase that circulates widely as a popular culture quote, and it is not official merchandise from Archer or Full Metal Jacket.

Available styles (select at checkout)

• Classic Heavy Cotton Tee (Gildan 5000): 5.3 oz/yd² mid-weight 100% preshrunk cotton (Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester; Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester). Features a classic regular fit with a seamless rib-knit collar and taped neck and shoulders.
• Vintage Garment-Dyed Tee (Comfort Colors 1717): 6.1 oz/yd² heavyweight 100% ring-spun cotton. Soft-washed, garment-dyed fabric with a relaxed boxy fit and double-needle stitching.
• Crewneck Sweatshirt (Gildan 18000): 8.0 oz/yd² 50% cotton, 50% polyester blend. Features a soft brushed fleece interior and 1×1 athletic rib-knit collar, cuffs, and waistband with spandex.
• Pullover Fleece Hoodie (Gildan 18500): 8.0 oz/yd² 50% cotton, 50% polyester blend fleece. Features a double-lined hood with matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, and double-needle stitching.

Material & print

Each style is finished with direct-to-garment (DTG) printing for vibrant, durable colors and crisp details.

• Classic Heavy Cotton Tee (Gildan 5000): 5.3 oz/yd², 100% preshrunk cotton (Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester; Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester). Features a classic regular fit, seamless rib collar, and taped neck and shoulders.
• Vintage Garment-Dyed Tee (Comfort Colors 1717): 6.1 oz/yd², 100% ring-spun cotton. Soft-washed, garment-dyed fabric with a relaxed boxy fit and double-needle stitching.
• Crewneck Sweatshirt (Gildan 18000): 8.0 oz/yd², 50% cotton, 50% polyester blend. Warm brushed fleece interior with 1×1 athletic rib-knit collar, cuffs, and waistband with spandex.
• Pullover Fleece Hoodie (Gildan 18500): 8.0 oz/yd², 50% cotton, 50% polyester fleece. Features a double-lined hood with matching drawcord, front pouch pocket, and durable double-needle stitching.

Fit & sizing

All apparel options are designed in standard unisex sizing:

• Classic Heavy Cotton Tee (Gildan 5000): Classic regular fit that runs true to size with preshrunk cotton.
• Vintage Garment-Dyed Tee (Comfort Colors 1717): Relaxed, slightly boxy fit with a soft, lived-in feel and casual drape.
• Crewneck Sweatshirt (Gildan 18000): Classic fit with standard stretch ribbing at the collar, cuffs, and hem.
• Pullover Fleece Hoodie (Gildan 18500): Standard unisex fit; order your normal size for a standard fit, or size up for an oversized, layered look.

For the most accurate fit, compare the measurements of your favorite garment against our detailed size chart before ordering.

Care instructions

• Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors.
• Use mild detergent; use non-chlorine bleach only when necessary.
• Tumble dry on low heat or hang dry to preserve print quality.
• Cool iron inside out if needed; do not iron directly over the decoration.
• Do not dry clean.

Shipping & returns

Every item is custom-printed to order. Please review our shipping estimates and return guidelines below:

• Processing time: 2–5 business days for printing and quality inspection prior to dispatch.
• Standard US shipping: 3–6 business days once shipped. Tracking information is sent via email as soon as your package is on the way.
• Made-to-order policy: Because each piece is produced specifically for you, we cannot accept returns or exchanges for incorrect size selection or buyer’s remorse. Please consult the size chart before placing your order.
• Damaged or defective items: If your order arrives misprinted, damaged, or defective, contact customer support within 30 days of delivery with photos of the issue for a free replacement or refund.

• Standard U.S. shipping applies to most personalized orders.
• International orders may take 2–5 extra days for customs clearance.
• See our Shipping & Delivery and Replacement & Refund policies.